Tuesday, February 4, 2014

something found and something lost..

feeling: Meh

I've lost a friend today but what can you do. I'm glad he's figured out what he wants..but within the same token..I'm afraid what the outcome may be. But one must not dwell in the choices people make for themselves. Its their life not your's.

At the same time..he wanted to be lost. Which led me having a good heart to heart with Chucky. I woke him by calling him. I was honestly a tad bit upset..and the all knowing Chucky simply said "You knew this was going to happen? Why werent you prepared?" I told him I simply had no time.

"Are you gonna continue letting this person do this to you? Cut you off then bring you back again? You're too nice. Once a person cuts a cord..its done. They've let you fall. You cant just fall and be brought back up!" 

Chucky always knows how to make things stick with me. I later told him. When he has a girlfriend and she makes him chose..He'll have to chose her. 

Shana: You aren't gonna are you?
Chucky: Nope! Cause if she truly cared and loved me..She wouldnt make me chose! 
Shana:I'd chose you too! 

Although Chucky and I are exes..I'm starting to see that..not everybody is like us..every relationship is different. But even though we may not be together..we simply want the best for each other..support each other..and if my future BF cant handle that Chucky and I are friends..STRICTLY friends! Cause Chucky is apart of me..and still is my best friend. Then I'll find..(hopefully) someone who will accept that! 

I'm totally going off of tangent but I have allot to thank for him. He's opened my eyes to so many things. He never judges me and hasn't let me down. 
Although there was one time he judged me.

"If the wildebeest goes and explores and plays with the lions. Be prepared to get bit in the ass!" 

So back to my friend. I'm sad and accepting. 7-8 years gone..but I'm sure it'll be worth it. I'm sorry I cant be there this time around..but I honestly feel like its gonna be a constant cycle..which should break if you two..(I say two because everybody deserves to find someone just for them.) To find the right ones for you. 

It takes a strong person to let go. You know I know this personally. Before Chucky and I relationship ended..we were together for almost 7 years. But to walk away and let go..you need support too. I was lucky to have Chucky..because he knew he couldnt give me the things I wanted he still supported me. He wanted me to find someone better. 

So best of luck to you, Pirate King of the south. 
Just remember Winter is Coming! So when you see those black flags on your horizon. This Pirate Queen of the north is taking over.  

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