hey hey!

It's been awhile..

I've been busy with work..and just hanging out with my friends..

Amongst other  things..

 These two was taken back in July..I did a photoshoot with one of my good friends on IG ( asian_impressions) I've been following him since I started IG same for him as well..he's such an artist. The Pics came out so pretty. I'll have to put it up some time later..LOL

 Snapchat shenanigans! LOL

 Then it was exploring the north shore with a good friend of mine..

 Also went hiking Waianae side..they came out funny looking cause of the camera setting on my phone.LOL

 Isn't the view beautiful?

 Also got some visits from an old friend and of course..my chub chubs!

Sorry I havent been on for so long..I'm still hit by the passing of my grammy but as you can see..I'm taking it day by day!

A slight pain in my heart

Well..lets just say..it's been one crazy week..I'm still in some shock about my great grandma passing..but I'm happy that she's not suffering anymore..

I miss her tremendously and always will..

I honestly suck at writing meaningful words..but I think no words can describe the pain I have..

Rest in Love Grammy!

I'll love you always..

It's been awhile

It's been a long while.. I've been working allot but also going to the beach.
I just recently had a photo meet up with my good friend!  Here's one of the photos.

I'll write some more later.

Until then

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Getting fit

Why hello there! Nothing like talking about getting healthy yet here's a nice ice cream cone! LOL


I've honestly never really wrote a blog about my weight but lately it's been on mind..so I've decided to share!

About this time last year..I can honestly say I weighted almost 130 lbs..and I'm not that tall only 5'3..

To be honest..I'm unsure what made me more motivated to work out I guess..i had this pent up emotion after New Years..LOL..In a way it was a good thing..I went down to about 117..Honestly I didn't notice till some friend's pointed it out..I used to work out everyday for 2 hours and I still (I felt) looked the same..that is until I started eating healthier with more veggies and allot less..

To be honest..It's been years since I've had abs..the last time I had them was when I was in H.S. when I used to do ColorGuard and Judo..so its nice to see it peek out..It's been hard to get them where they are now since abs are made in the gym but shown in the kitchen! It's all in what you eat! Isaac has great abs but it's because he's naturally skinny..which in my eyes are allot to easier get abs..where as for me..cause I'm more fat! LOL I need to watch what I eat in order for them to show (even if its kinda small)! LOL 

The first 2 pics are my progression of my abs..I know it's not much but hey..they're there! LOL..and this pic here is what it looks like now!

Now don't get the wrong idea..of the reason why I started working out..I do like looking nice in a bikini and whatnot..but it's honestly about being healthy..and I have every intention of living as long as I can..but what that being said..I don't always eat like a rabbit..To begin with I'm a picky eater..and I dont eat lots of red meat because since I was small I preferred chicken but man..If you put a pizza in front of me..I will eat it! LOL


With that being said..there's nothing wrong eating what you want but in moderation and not too much sweets or salt..I'm also not saying to follow what I do either! This is my journey to being healthy.

So everyday I TRY to work out at least an hour concentrating on abs, ass, and arms..LOL 3 A's..I mainly drink water..but I do need at least 2 servings of coffee or else I get kinda mean! LOL 

I'm unsure on how to end this blog..other than I'm off to eat pizza..then probably after that..I'm gonna work out

BYE~

A year in snapchats thus far

LOL..now one might be thinking why I
only made half a year in snapchats..cause honestly my video app loves to have it stick to 5 mins..

I've
had snapchat for about 2 years now..and I've had some snaps back when I
first got the app..but I wanted to start it from the beginning of this
year..you'll see mainly my nephew Blaze..and me on my adventures to the
beach and other places..These are memories to me..to help me remember
that sometimes when one is sad..there's always a reason to smile and you
were happy at one point or another..

It's kinda strange...

I find it slightly weird that ever since I've came back from Colorado..My passion to move..to have a place of my own has grown.

I'm honestly excited for the next step in my life..

and I've been looking at furniture and tools to help when I make that jump..

 This isn't the exact set I want..I actually really liked the one my grandma had cause I was able to change the bit and it had a counter and clockwise thing that if you click the top portion it'll turn only one way..kinda like a ratchet..LOL

My trip to Colorado

the day before yesterday I came back from Colorado. It was a fun experience..and I also got to spend time with my grandma because the main basis of this trip was to help her move..

So here's the video..of the trip..LOL..

FYI..lots of driving..LOL

Music- Sleeping with a friend-Neon Trees
Come and get it remix- Krewella

I'm 26....EDITED 06/15/2014

I'm 26 today and I honestly feel sad..Don't get me wrong..I'm lucky..no blessed to have awesome people in my life..

 My co-workers surprised me with presents, pizza, party hat, and a cake..They made me feel so loved..but there's only one thing in my mind at the moment..

I should've learned my lesson the last time..when I got my heart broken 2 times since I've turned 25..but I don't..and I'm stupid..I wasn't even asking to have a relationship with this certain guy but I guess I gave that vibe?? Who knows..but he's definitely hurt me more than the other 2 boys..I even gave him souvenirs from my trip to CO..and I came back yesterday..still jet lagged drove to his house last night..and just put it in his mailbox..thinking maybe we'll be able to hang out soon for my birthday tomorrow..I get a message after I leave..also saying thanks..but also saying he's busy this weekend..but that's honestly too selfish for me to expect something out of this guy..

[[EDIT: Man, I must be getting old! 2 guys within this past year..year as in between now and when I turned 25! LOL I was reading this confused..and wondering what I was talking about..

Please keep in mind..I wrote this blog when I was upset..and wasn't thinking too clearly..]]

But that's what has been on my mind..
Yup. 26 years old today. And I'm stupid. I'm stupid! Sorry heart..You're broken again..

  So let's try learn this time around..it seems like you're doing it wrong..

Landed in the desert

Getting ready for bed.. Just got to Arizona, my I've stop over to Colorado! Let me tell you.. It's hot here and it's night time! Lol lol

Anyways time to try to sleep even though my body is 3 hours behind! Lol lol

PS I got one giant bed! Oh yea! 

Lantern ceremony 2014

It was honestly my first time going to the lantern ceremony..and it was an awesome idea my dongsaeng had..

(FYI dongsaeng practically means younger brother in korean..and we aren't in any way romantically involved with eachother)

I wanted to put that out there..it seems like people be assuming that he's my bf..LOL..hes my little brother from another mother! LOL 

 It was a great experience! Granted it was very crowded but it was worth it.

The lanterns were so pretty..I wish I could've stayed till the dark..
Can't wait till next week..hehehehe

turning blond! LOL

This wasn't much of a surprise..my hair has been all kinds of colors before then..from black to red..even blue..

sorry this is the only pic I could find with my old orange-y blond hair...and so after some time..it got worse..to more orange-brown..I wasn't using too much toner in my hair..So my friend told me this lady does great hair...so I went over and turned into a leftover! LOL

She then worked her magic..and made my hair look AMAZING! I've never had my hair look so light..I love it!

I'm very tempted to just dye my whole head..I really love the color!

I shouldn't done it sooner!

song of the day..or well..awhile LOL

This is song has been stuck in my head for a long time..but I love it..

Nothing more than strangers passing by, out on the street
Memories are fading though it's only been a week
All the little things are gone, the things we used to be
Nobody could take us down, there was only you and me

deuces

A third time must be the charm for me..but at the same time I must be slightly stupid..or is this the forth time?

Thank goodness I knew your intentions and knew you'd do the same thing yet again to me..

Yet here I am hoping you'd change for the better..but you won't..because you seem too weak for it..

Thank goodness I didn't drop the guy I liked for someone who was "madly in love with me"..I believe you were confused and yet you go back to the same toxic person..believing it'll change..but it won't..like a moth to a flame..you'll get burned in the end..

I keep to my word..especially when I said if you go back..I won't be your friend again.

So here's good-bye..the final time..

deuces! 

The Perfect package????

feeling: Slightly confused

Well..for awhile now..more like for a year now..people have been asking about my love life and when I'm gonna find a BF, Get married, have kids..etc. etc. 

And when I tell them..well..I do like someone and we've been hanging out..its like go ahead and say" WHAT? HE DON'T WANT YOU TO BE HIS GF?? IS HE BLIND??" I just shrug and mumble "ohhh..i dunno...."

Not to mention..a good amount of family, friends alike like to say to me..I'm gonna put it in a list..LOL That:

-You're so beautiful/pretty why can't you find a BF? 

(Cause I'm not looking! gunfunit!)

-You're so mellow and not a jealous girl

(shrug)

-You're fun and you can hang out with the guys..you're like a tomboy but you still look like a girl

(shrug..beats me! LOL)

-You have such a great body!

(Thanks! Pizza diet! LOL)

The list can go on..but this girl can't remember all that was said to me..but these are the most..and the whole pretty part..does boost my ego a bit..but makes me question it too! LOL But I tell them..that they just saying that because they're my friends and family..but they apparently speak the truth not trying to make me feel better! LOL

But with that being said I do like someone..and lately I feel like Chuck from Good luck Chuck. Every guy I get involved with..they end up finding the girl they wanna settle down with..after me..LOL 

LOL..but I'll carry on..everything happens for a reason..and here's me with no make up being silly..

Oh yea, girl! thats how you get them! LOL

 

Beach Beach..from last, last monday! LOL

I've been so busy with this past week..I wasnt able to post up when I went to the beach with Isaac last, last monday..Holy Shit..talk about slacking!

We went to Barber's Point/ White Plains..cause he wanted to surf..I honestly haven't gone to this beach in ages..cause well..for one its out of the way for me (North Shore is super close to me..about 20 mins away) and it's filled with military guys and the beach is kinda ugly! 

But he got to chose plus he said the waves were good..and so we went..LOL

 To be honest..It was very weird for me to watch him surf..(even though he didn't want me to watch him) I'm used to watching my dad surf or boogieboard but I watched for a bit..

So I just tanned and swam as he surfed..just like the seals! Which was pretty cool to see.

 He then made trouble to the birds..and tried to catch them..LOL
It was a good beach day..

I got my days mixed up at first I though it was this past week but then I remembered I went with my friend Sony to Ala Moana Beach last week..and I didnt get to take pics..since it was a short trip..LOL
 

Loyalty is rare

I'm noticing a pattern..
In this day and age..it seems to be no surprise that..that in no matter how many relationships..there always is one that might have broken a soul or a trust for anybody else..I personally know at least a handful of my friends who have cheated or been cheated on.

LOYALTY is RARE! 

It's hard to find a person in this world..whom you know wont cheat on you. I know I'm not the most innocent but I know my loyalty and if I know I betrayed it in anyway..I'll leave and punish myself..

But believe me when I say I'm a loyal person. It takes a strong person to be loyal and not..lets just say..let an ex..or numerous guys fuck me! I'm a one guy kind of girl..even if I'm just seeing/hanging out/dating/BF&GF you..I'll stay true and wont be with anybody else..and that's honestly my choice..I like you for a reason. LOL THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO CHEAT! 

I remember at one time an ex and his gf at the time was accusing me of wanting to cheat with him while my bf was deployed..a bunch a bull fuckery if you ask me..all I wanted was to be friends at the time..and my bf knew what was going on..and unlike most girls when their other half is deployed..I stayed true and stuck it through..like I said I know my loyalty and I'm not trying to sound like I'm boosting because like I said I, too am not a perfect person. 

SORRY..I just wanted to vent..I feel like these people are damaging great people..who are now too afraid to let someone love them because of a betrayal that happened to them..

LOL Yea..and this song..is hella catchy! LOL

the O-turn

*Looking at the U-turn sign* "Is there such thing as a O-turn?" "Yea...for stupid people!" 

Now every time I see a U-turn sign..I think of one of many strange but funny convos I've had with this certain fellow! LOL

 "Hey! You wanna go somewhere else other than here?" "Like where?" "Hmm..lets go to the beach!" "At night?" LOL

post it notes..from my heart

I did something I don't ever do..I left a post it note hidden amongst the pages of a notebook..
With how confusing you are..
How you're grouchy and then sweet the next..
A post it confession..

I'm taking a chance...will you with me?

Not a bad thing...

Today was one eventful day..

It first started out as a normal day..Me hiding that I've been feeling cynical for the past 3 weeks..questioning about life and love..why we have feelings for someone and have the possibility of getting hurt or loved..How many times do we get hurt till we find someone to heal our wounds..

My co-worker and I were talking..she then remembered and said to me " Oh my God. Shana. There's a song that reminded me of you." I asked her what the song was called and then downloaded it right away..figured I'd listen to it later..

After listening and watching the video..It gave me hope..being cynical or jaded is because I started not to believe in love anymore especially in this world we live in..because we all get hurt all in this search for love..but we all deserve love..it's the chance we take in this life..

I may not have a BF and people may have broken my heart many times but if you keep on living and loving..Love will find you..

You just have to have faith..

Because LOVE is LIFE..

And Everything happens for a reason! 

I know people make promises all the time
Then they turn right around and break them
When someone

cuts your heart open with a knife, and you're bleeding
But I could be that guy to heal it over time
And I won’t stop until you believe it
'Cause baby you’re worth it

 

 No I won’t fill your mind
With broken promises and wasted time
And if you fall, you’ll always land right in these arms
These arms of mine

I always say...

Everything happens for a reason..good or bad..

Life is like the ocean..unpredictable..at one moment the ocean is calm..then the next..waves bigger than ever can appear..

All you have to learn is to keep on swimming..in the calm or the waves..

Can I wade your water..till I catch your wave?

I've been called a mermaid numerous times..especially more in my adult life..I'm very fortunate to have been born and raised in Hawaii. To have the ocean always be a part of my life. I'm tied to the ocean..to swim in the waters..to feel the sun shine down on me..it washes away my worries and problems..

One day I'll have to leave..but Hawaii..is always my home.

Right by my side

A song that's been stuck in my head for a bit..LOL

 It all comes down to this
I miss your morning kiss
I won’t lie, I’m feeling it
You don’t know, I’m missing it
I’m so dumb, I must admit
It’s too much to hold it in
I can’t say no more than this
I just hope your heart hear me now
Gotta let you know how I’m feeling
You own my heart, he just renting (P.S. no one is renting! LOL)
Don’t turn away, pay attention
I’m pouring out my heart oh, boy

Bed Peace

As I lay in bed slightly awake. Groggy..and pretty pissed..A friend called me early in the morning..awaking me from my slumber..Close to my wits end..the convo ends..and I attempt to go back to sleep..
I toss. I turn..Annoyed even more..I let out a frustrated groan. 

FUCK! 

Once I calm down..Take in a deep breath and sighed..I start to think and wonder..Hmm..Why can I sleep? I turn my body to the side.. a slight memory of being in a nest of blanket and pillow..and a strangely super warm body and his arm right above my head..A dark, quiet room..yet a bit of chaos is happening outside of it..A girl singing loudly..roosters crowing..an aunty yelling at somebody..I smiled..and remembered I've slept so deeply there in that bed..and that's rare! 

"I wish we were able to trade things like sleep! So you can sleep for me..and I can work all day and night.""I wouldn't mind..as long as I can sleep in your bed."

Slightly off..and to be honest

Feeling: Slightly off



Lately I've been feeling slightly odd..a little more negative than normal..being a tad bit more sensitive..and quite honestly more vulnerable..


Its been one interesting weekend..and I've been so distracted with the chaos around me..I've forgotten how to look within myself to re-find my center..

I need to be alone..
I need time to myself..
and not worry about other people...

I do miss someone at the moment..

I do think about him quite often..I wonder if he thinks of me when he has the chance..A part of me wishes there wasn't this much distance..but I'm honestly somewhat used to it..if I did it before..I can definitely do it again..but it makes me wonder..What brought on this distance? 

Plus he doesnt need to worry about me hurting him..I'm not that kind of girl who plays games with your heart..

If I choose to like you..I chose you for a reason.

And right now I wish I was at the beach..but the weather sucks!