A slight pain in my heart

Well..lets just say..it's been one crazy week..I'm still in some shock about my great grandma passing..but I'm happy that she's not suffering anymore..

I miss her tremendously and always will..

I honestly suck at writing meaningful words..but I think no words can describe the pain I have..

Rest in Love Grammy!

I'll love you always..

Come in

Yeah, so many guys have been trying to impress you 
But they can't love you girl like I do 
So if you want me you've got me girl as long as this is love
And from then on girl I would never leave you 
Travel across the world yeah baby just to see you 
No matter where girl 
It don't matter where 

Loving this song for awhile..but its been stuck in my head..

Thinking about a certain someone..hehehe 

Good morning

Feeling: TBH

I wish I could stay in the bed..all day..but sadly I cant..I had an awesome sleep..the night before I only had about 3-4 hours of sleep..So when I got home I crashed out once I laid down in my bed..but I did wake up at 3 in the morning..unsure why but its been a weird habit for me lately..

"If I could I would dream forever..if thats the only way for me to see you..Let me dream forever."

Don't let the darkness consume me..

Feeling: somewhat deep..

As of late I've been feeling very negative..kind of like a slow chaotic storm..all in my mind...some people would pay to see me like this..but whatevs..I dont quite care right now..

Normally it takes quite a bit for me to get to this state..and I'm not saying I have every right to act as such..I try to keep these things to a min..but there's some things you can't escape..

I just have to remember..

 That everything happens for a reason.

Dear no one..

feeling: Hmmmm..

I've known this song for awhile now..my sister introduced this song saying that this song is me..I love singing it in my car..LOL
 

My kind of music

Feeling: musical! LOL

Its kinda funny how I think the type of music I like..I remember growing up you kinda had to stuck to one type of music. You either liked rock or pop..R&B or classical. I know people have their preferance and stick to them..but for me music can create a mood or it brings back a certain memory. 

The music I have on my ipod totally ranges all over the place from kpop to edm to 80s rock..its all over..

so for experiments sake..I put my ipod on shuffle and will now list..the first 30 songs that come on..LOL

(side note my ipod has 989 songs total...and I'm i search of more music! LOL)

1.One Love- Bob Marley (Reggae)
2.Slow Jams- Kanye West, Twista ft Jamie Foxx (R&B) What the?? LOL Why do I still have this song! LOL
3.You Give Love a Bad Name- Bon jovi (80s rock)
4. Slide- Goo Goo dolls (pop/rock) One of my fave songs because it holds allot

 of good memories for me. 

5. Bartender- T-pain ft. Akon (R&B) 
6. When Can I See You Again- Babyface (R&B)
**Man! Why is it playing all my mushy gushy music?! LOL**
7. Alfie- Lilly Allen (pop)
8. Good to you- 2NE1 (Kpop)
9. Flat top- Goo Goo dolls (rock)
10. Stay the Night- Zedd ft. Hayley Williams of Paramore (edm) I love Hayley Williams! Her voice is amazing!
11. Skin- Rihanna (R&B) 
12.Crooked Smile- J Cole ft. TLC (rap?) LOL
13. Creep- TLC (R&B?) LOL TLC was my fave group growing up! LOL oh the 90's

14. Dammit- Blink-182 (Rock) 
15. Be With Me Tonight- Jay Park (R&B/ pop) He sings Kpop but he also sings english. He's one sexy man! LOL
16.Shining Star- The Manhattans (I dunno what to put this under!) LOL
17. Coming Home- Diddy ft. Skylar Grey (Rap)
18. Go On Girl- Ne-Yo (R&B)
19. Scars- Papa Roach (Rock)
20. Blue- BIGBANG (Kpop) 

 My Fave men of Kpop..esp. Taeyang! ^---^

21.Part Of Your World - Little Mermaid (soundtrack) LOL
22. Baby I love your way- UB40 (Reggae)
23. Come back Home- 2NE1 (Kpop/ Reggae/ edm) This song has all kinds of genre in it..its one of my fave songs atm.
24. Little things- Colbie Caillat (pop) 
25. The Scientist- Coldplay (rock/ pop) 
26. Celui- Colonel Reyel (French reggae/ pop)
27. Find You Panic City remix- Zedd (edm)
28. Dear No One- Tori Kelly (pop)
29. Eyes Wide Shut- JLS ft. Tinnie Tempah (pop/ dance)
30. Come in- The Green ft. Jacob Hemphill (Reggae/ Hawaiian)

oh the assortment of music..LOL 

hmmm..

The title is pretty self explanatory...LOL..not saying a word..LOL..
Not saying who..

Good night~

♥ ♥ I love this version..

you could be my it boy
もう悲しい恋
繰り返したくない
夢見た "it boy"
新しい恋
上手く行かせたい
そばに居て all night long
いつまでも抱きしめていたい
夢見た "it boy"
you're my biggest hit boy
let me play it loud, let me play it loud like

好きだ...I'm just not saying who..but I'm sure he knows..LOL 

Lately I been, I been losing sleep...

Dreaming about the things that we could be

Great beach day!

Feeling: Slightly crisp but it was worth it!

Well yesterday was a good day! Isaac and I went to the beach..which is always the best place to go. So we make our way down to the North Shore! 

I know this road too well.

 LOL..I'm sure if you know me well enough you know where we went! But the plan was to go to a different beach but because it looked so nice. We decided for Waimea..My fave beach

The water was very nice and the reason I got so crisp was because I was so happy that the sun was out for once!

 I was being a bad subject and kept moving around and was taking random candid pictures of him. LOL

 I even took a pic of this random beached man..passed out in the sand. LOL and Isaac taking up most of my towel!

 

We then headed to Haleiwa to eat at Cholo's. There's no pics due to the fact that we were at Waimea roasting for almost 5 hrs..and He and I was hella hungry! LOL 

But we did make our way to Lanikai juice..Which is always one of the spots I like to stop by when I'm in Haleiwa. I got my Strawberry Shaka..and Isaac got a Traditional Acai Bowl??? I dunno..He said
Traditional thing/ Baby food! LOL

After that our adventure continued with going to a different beach..my friend showed me this beach and I wanted to take him there. Granted he grumbled most of the time due to the walking. LOL

 But it was worth it. Sadly the waves were kinda rough..so there wasnt much turtles this time around.

 I was being a trouble maker again..LOL

 The scenery was great! We also hanged a bit longer to see part of the sunset..I say part cause we didnt want to walk back in the dark. LOL

 Teaching me the ways of lighting and why it doesnt show how red it was at that moment..

 By the way these pictures were taken with my Samsung note 3! It has one awesome camera. Plus no filter. 

I really loved this beach too! It was nice and quiet and such beautiful scenery..

I really loved that I had all day to go on adventures..Ive been kinda missing those type of days. Quite reminiscent of last summer..where I went on an adventure almost every single day.  

Thanks for coming with me, Isaac! I can't wait to go on an adventure again!

Bad Boy

I've known this song version for a long time now but I've been listening to it more so now..I honestly love the sound of the ukelele.

I'm excited for tomorrow..I finally get to swim in the ocean and get to hang out with my friend. ^_________^

Now just gotta get ready for work..get over this small cold! 
 

Bed peace- Jhene Aiko

I've been really loving this song lately..I wish I could stay in bed all day!

Granted she's talking about weed allot but this song has a good vibe to it..LOL 

Curled up with my head on your chest
It's the best remedy for the pain and the stress
If the world doesn't change then we'll never get dressed
It will be like this to the kiss of the death
Of my soul 

judge or be judged?

To be honest..

It's an everyday occurrence of judgement between friends, family, and strangers alike. Is it because it's second nature? Or because it could also be a defensive front? Judgement is thrown every where when it shouldnt be..kindness and understanding should! I may not be a perfect person but I do try to keep it a minimum.

I always think who am I to judge? Do I know their walk of life? Do I know their story and how they got here? 

But whose to say everyone is gonna think the same? I know there are people out there who are judging me right now as I write this. But do they know me? Will they give a chance to get to know me? The answer is most likely no. They judge me by how I look..how I dress..my past..and possibly my actions yet they dont know who I am. It's like I'm painted as this home wreaking villain when I'm not. All they know is the outward appearance and a "He said, She said" deal. Some people will go along the lines of just hating me because of the past. When we both know the past is well the past..unless of course you keep on living in the past. 

I am a human. Sometimes it bothers me..sometimes it doesnt. But I'm gonna put this out there..a chance if you will..if you want to get to know me..contact me..let me prove myself to you..if not..then you can continue judging me and playing ignorant it is all by your choice. I am a woman of my word.

To where it started..

The girl closes her eyes..and smiles..a memory of last year warms her. Of how spontaneous that night was..she wishes she could go back to where it started..but she honestly hasnt gone back to the place thinking it might taint the memory. 

It was dark but loud..with the crowds..music filled the air..booze filled bodies..dancing with the music..she faces him..he stares at her..she smiles and at an instant his lips are on her's..a kiss..

True love..

Although It's not only true love to me..its actually real love!
"Real love is putting someone else before yourself."

stuck in the mud

The girl exclaiming to her close friend "Why is it taking me so long to move on from this friendship? I feel like I'm stuck in the mud..and he somehow got out and walked off..leaving me behind." Her friend sighed and said "It takes time..The only reason he got out was because he had her..his stick to help him out..if you had ** here..he would help you out of the mud." "But I dont want to rely on a stick or anyone to help me out of the mud. I should try to get out myself." the girl said strongly. Her friend laughed and said "Then it goes back to..it takes time. You cant just turn off your feelings. You care too much! You're too good to people who just treat you badly!" The girl sighed..she knew her friend was right. " I know I do. I'd rather give happiness cause thats how I want to fulfill my life. To be there for someone when no one else is. Now, isnt that a true friend?"

"Yes..But you know there's a small path in that mud..to get you out..its gonna take time..its gonna be hard..but I'm here to help you."

The Vapors - Jhene Aiko

Walking through the smoke and mirrors, I'm burdened, you burning bridges Memories fading faded it help you not to remember


Its amazing how a person thinks that they can just delete the pictures, the things they shared with someone..but there's one thing you cant delete..your memories.

Because his music really speaks to me..

I wish I was at this concert..To see this man have so much passion in his music is very moving. 

His music help me through the hard times..it helped me see the positive. It always puts a smile on my face.

I've gotta push on through..Everything's gonna be alright.

The Other Side

Tonight we’ll just get drunk
Disturb the peace
Find your hands all over me
And then you bite your lip
Whisper and say, “We’re going all the way.”


This song reminds me of last summer. I wasnt working for 3 months. It was a nice extended vacation. I went to the beach almost every day. Hiked almost the same amount. Sometimes you need to get out of the grind to truly gain clarity. That time helped me grow.

It also had me go to the "other side". It was honestly one of the highlights of my summer. I miss it. I miss you. 

A simple smile

Feeling: ^______^ oh you know!

It's amazing how a song can awaken those feelings you have hidden deep within your heart. 

It's amazing no matter how far away someone is..their smile can make the clouds break apart. 

Light up your soul when you though it was dark. 

On my heart you left a little X mark. ;)





"When you held out your hand..and I grabbed it..you made me feel safe..you made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.."