Slightly off..and to be honest

Feeling: Slightly off



Lately I've been feeling slightly odd..a little more negative than normal..being a tad bit more sensitive..and quite honestly more vulnerable..


Its been one interesting weekend..and I've been so distracted with the chaos around me..I've forgotten how to look within myself to re-find my center..

I need to be alone..
I need time to myself..
and not worry about other people...

I do miss someone at the moment..

I do think about him quite often..I wonder if he thinks of me when he has the chance..A part of me wishes there wasn't this much distance..but I'm honestly somewhat used to it..if I did it before..I can definitely do it again..but it makes me wonder..What brought on this distance? 

Plus he doesnt need to worry about me hurting him..I'm not that kind of girl who plays games with your heart..

If I choose to like you..I chose you for a reason.

And right now I wish I was at the beach..but the weather sucks! 

 

Good morning

Feeling: TBH

I wish I could stay in the bed..all day..but sadly I cant..I had an awesome sleep..the night before I only had about 3-4 hours of sleep..So when I got home I crashed out once I laid down in my bed..but I did wake up at 3 in the morning..unsure why but its been a weird habit for me lately..

"If I could I would dream forever..if thats the only way for me to see you..Let me dream forever."

The little things..

The little things are what keeping me afloat..
I honestly feel like drowning in this chaos..
To break down at any given second..
But remembering the little things..happy things that are keeping me afloat..

I need the beach, the ocean more than anything right now..

A hug from a certain someone would be awesome too..but I'm wondering..at what price?

Don't let the darkness consume me..

Feeling: somewhat deep..

As of late I've been feeling very negative..kind of like a slow chaotic storm..all in my mind...some people would pay to see me like this..but whatevs..I dont quite care right now..

Normally it takes quite a bit for me to get to this state..and I'm not saying I have every right to act as such..I try to keep these things to a min..but there's some things you can't escape..

I just have to remember..

 That everything happens for a reason.

The song ATM

Lots of Krewella lately..but when I first heard this song through a friend..it really stuck with me..cause we are only human. We can only handle so much. Some people can handle a little where as others can handle allot. 

I'm going through some things at the moment...family and what not. People dying..people ignoring..people not being there..and how scary it can be to tell someone how you feel and see whats gonna happen next..
But one has to remember that everything happens for a reason..
people are dying everyday..but God will release them from their pain..
people ignoring..they may be going through their own thing..and if they dont care about you..well..time to move on!
people not being there..same thing..people may have their own problems..but if they are doing it on purpose..then they arent your real friends..
The scariness of telling someone how you feel and what the outcome may be..at least you were honest with how you felt..instead of hiding it..everything happens for a reason..if it happens, it happens..if not..then thats ok..at least you laid the cards on the table.

 
 I am only human.
 

a poem for a friend

I wrote this poem for my friend.